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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

I’m a huge fan of lists. Today’s helpful list comes from


1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month

Our youth classes will spend time focusing on the Anti-Bullying Pledge created by Kovar Systems.


The Anti-Bullying Pledge

I believe everyone has the right to feel safe. I will commit to standing strong against bullying. I will treat others with respect and kindness. I have the compassion to not be a bully and the courage to not be a bystander. It is my responsibility to help others who are being bullied and to report bullying when I see it or when it happens to me. I will not stand by. I will stand up.



Sensei Bud

Flag Sparring Drill

Flag Sparring is one of our students’ favorite drills!

It’s important to maintain the following rules to make this drill work:

1. NO RUNNING. Flag Sparring is meant to practice footwork and defense.

2. NO HOLDING TO YOUR FLAGS. Movement and blocking are the ways we defend our flags.

3. NO GRABBING YOUR PARTNER. There are versions of Flag Sparring that involve grappling and even ground work, but we only do those with the older students.

4. NO HIDING YOUR FLAGS. Your flags should be visible and within reach.


Sensei Bud

The Bunjitsu Code

Our Junior Class (5-7 years old) has been reading through the Bunjitsu Bunny books by John Himmelman during our Mat Chat time. Each story contains a relevant life lesson delivered in subtle and creative ways. The series features “The Bunjitsu Code,” which is a list of promises students make which will improve themselves and their lives. I recommend these books highly for both your child’s personal library and your dojo’s book collection.

Sensei Bud

Steps Toward a Happier Life

1. Realize how much you take for granted. Most of us, most of the time, go through our daily lives and go through the motions. Wake up, shower, eat, work, lunch break, work, go home, watch TV, sleep. Whatever schedule we tend to follow in our workaday lives, we tend to fall into patterns. Patterns are fine – I work best when I’m following a set pattern that allows for occasional deviation from the norm – but patterns run the risk of mindless automation. And in the course of our average “going through the motions” day we often overlook all the beauty and wonder in the world around us, and we forget so easily how many good things we have in our lives.

Focusing on the bad things is a lot easier, and maybe more instinctive. As creatures with a survival instinct, our radar is more naturally attuned to the negative things around us. It’s a defense mechanism. But, for those of us who want to scale ever higher upward on Maslow’s Pyramid, we want to live what the philosopher Socrates would have referred to as “the examined life.” We don’t want to live in the everyday grayness of a passionless existence. We want to improve ourselves, and help others around us do the same. In the end, we want to live happy, fulfilling lives, and leave behind a legacy. This first step sets the tone for our existence. We can dwell on the negatives, or we can understand and appreciate all the good in our lives.

2. See the negatives as challenges rather than curses. I used to let the bad things in my life get me down, and, more significantly, keep me down. Getting knocked down is normal. Happens to everyone. Strength and determination isn’t a matter of never failing or never showing weakness or never falling down: it’s a matter of getting back up. There will be times when you fail. Get back up! There will be times when you stumble, bumble, or crumble. Get back up. You may be broken. You are not wrong for having those feelings. This isn’t about changing how you feel, but how you perceive. See the problems in life as opportunities to grow, to learn, to overcome, and you’re another step closer to bettering yourself and your life.

3. Notice the needs of others. We should, likewise, be the kind of people who have in mind the best interests of those around us. Encouraging compassion, charity, and kindness goes a long way. Encourage people rather than judge them. Accept people wherever they are on their respective journeys. Be empathetic, understanding, and caring. It was that kind of care and understanding that helped me through the more difficult times in life.

4. Remove toxic people. Sometimes, for the sake of your mental and emotional health, you need to remove a person from your life whose actions and attitudes are poison to you. You’ve tried so hard to encourage, help, and be their friend, but they refuse to let go of their negativity and self-sabotaging ways, and inevitably drag you down with them. Such people are often manipulative, self-centered, and careless with the truth. Sometimes the healthiest, wisest, and most merciful decision you can make is to cut ties with such a person.

Skill Drill: The Tic Tac Toe Race

This is one of our drills for the Leaders Program (8-13 years old). This drill emphasizes quick thinking, awareness, and anticipating when to defend (block the other team from scoring) or attack (get three in a row). Important mental skills for both self-defense and life. It’s one of our students’ favorite drills.

Sensei Bud

Our Operating Values

Everything we do is grounded in our operating values. These values reflect the foundation of our community: our staff, students, and families. So let’s discuss each one!

We strengthen each other through respect. Our goal is to motivate and empower everyone in our martial arts family. We do that through the fundamental value of respect: treating each other the right way. We are honest with each other, kind to each other, and we always recognize each other’s value and worth as a person.

We promote honesty and integrity. We believe that being a good person is a net benefit in life. Being trustworthy is crucial to being part of a team. Integrity is being the same person everywhere we go, and making sure our words and actions match. We can’t live according to our first value without living out this one too.

We foster a culture of acceptance. Everyone is different. People come from all kinds of backgrounds, beliefs, and ethnicities. We live in a diverse society, and we believe no one is inherently better than another. We believe in maintaining a culture of love and compassion towards everyone.

We are a safe place. Because we foster a culture of acceptance, we work hard to maintain our training facility as a safe place, free from judgment, hate, and toxicity. As part of the Gravity Martial Arts family, you will be treated with respect and dignity.

We are leaders through service. We uphold the standard that true leadership isn’t simply telling other people what to do, but leading them by doing the actual work. Leadership is service. Leadership is setting an example for others to follow.

We encourage a positive mindset. Everyone talks to themselves. Everyone has an inner monologue about how they feel about themselves and their abilities and attributes. Working on developing the mental habit of speaking to yourself and about yourself encouragingly and positively will help your attitude improve. And when you have a positive attitude, you’re not only happier, you can accomplish more.

We celebrate individual progress. Each of us is on our own journey. Your path isn’t the same as mine. We each have different needs, different concerns, and our own unique strengths and limitations. Our goal is to better ourselves each day. That will not look the same for everyone. We love seeing people reach goals and get closer to their goals, even if it’s only one step. We celebrate all forward motion.

We live a healthy lifestyle: physically, mentally, and spiritually. The goal is to maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle. We work towards having a healthy body, a clear mind, and a positive attitude.

We grow through regular training and personal development. This one is self-explanatory. Success is found in our daily routines and habits.

We are fiscally healthy and responsible. We are a business, and as such we want to earn enough to make a living and be successful, but we never want to be greedy, and we never want to view our members as nothing more than dollar signs. Our mission is to empower people! We strive to manage our finances responsibly and pay our bills on time. It’s a sign of respect to pay people when the fee is due, and it’s a sign of confidence and good planning to keep one’s accounts in order.

We leave our training facility, our community, and our world better than we left it. We work hard to develop a culture in which everyone recognizes their responsibility in living out the mission of Gravity Martial Arts: We better ourselves to better our world. In order to make a positive impact on our world, we must be aware of the impact we have on our surroundings, and the other people who inhabit those surroundings. When half-empty water bottles are left in the facility, or when we make any kind of mess without cleaning up after ourselves, it displays a lack of respect for where we train. We don’t believe in the “it’s not my job” mentality. Everyone must do their part to make our world a better place.

Sensei Bud